Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
