I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
