It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
