I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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