I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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