The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
COCAINE IS GR8
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
