oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
