I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
