oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
