I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
