hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
