so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
