i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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