ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
