ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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