And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
