She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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