Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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