community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
