tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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