Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
