oh god the rape fog is back!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
