I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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