like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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