I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
