I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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