doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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