woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
