You can't motorboat a personality
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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