I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
