question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
