I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
