I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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