If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This is my gift to your gina
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
