you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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