ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
