all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
