Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
