You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
