He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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