I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
