If that was your dad, he is hot
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
