i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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