she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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