Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
