My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dicks are not precious.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
