he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
