Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
