He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
