nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
