tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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