i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
