Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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